Disillusionment and other matters…

There are a lot of things you hear and see in this biz that will bring you down. Like the fact that everyone else is trying to do it, and that most other people are pretty good, and that it seems impossible to tell what song is good enough and what song is not, and that it seems like everyone can sing well, and it’s too hard to get your music to the right ears at the right time, and blah blah blah.

Add to all that the fact that everyone is saying the only way to have a career in music is to get on American Idol, then add to that the fact that every day we learn more and more things about how unbelievably rigged American Idol is. We all know about how people who knew producers of the show or were connected to people involved with the show previously have a much easier time getting on the show for their second shot at the big time, but tonight I heard from a reliable source that the judges’ comments are on teleprompters. That would explain the unbelievable screw-up last season, when Paula commented on Jason’s second performance before he had even done it. I also heard about various ways the voting and performers are screwed with that had my jaw on the floor. So the only way you can have a career is to get on a show that will either arbitrarily pick and push you or furtively and arbitrarily destroy you in front of the whole country while burning the American Idol brand into your back so deeply that no matter what you do for the rest of your life, you’ll be “American Idol’s so and so,” not just whoever you are. No wonder so many people are pissed off at that show. There’s nothing more annoying than something saying it’s one thing constantly while obviously not living up to its word. For once and for all, it’s NOT a “singing competition.” It’s a reality TV show that strives for good stories, and it’s a big fat paycheck for everyone involved, (at least the finalists do actually get paid pretty well for doing it) and that’s it.

So where does all this leave me? Free. Free to do the music I want to do and love doing it. Because apparently it doesn’t matter what I look like, what I sound like, what I write, how hard I work or anything else. It’s half who you know and half total arbitrary luck. Can you tell I’m reading “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell? So fuck it. I’m just gonna make the music I love making, put it out there, network and promote like hell, and have fun. I’m gonna kick shit out on stage. I’m gonna lose all control and bring the house down and not worry about anything. I believe in me, my family and friends believe in me, and my fans believe in me, so I don’t care who doesn’t.

By the way, rehearsal last night rocked like you can’t believe. These new dance songs are amazing as synthy tracks and show-stoppers with a full live band. If you miss the show April 3rd it is totally your loss.

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